Paragraph Evaluation                          

           The following are samples of paragraphs submitted by students.
       Read each one carefully and mark down any errors or comments that
       you wish to make. Using the marking scheme, assign a mark to each
       paragraph.

                         Example #1  Contrast

             Music from the ninteen fifties is very different from music
       today.  First, music from the fifties had a lot of blues in it.
       The music of today is "rap".  In the fifties songs were all written
       about someone losing a lover and all of their pain and problems.
       Today's music is all about guys finding ways to get a girl's
       attention, (and vice versa), sex and drugs.  Fifties music was all
       real instruments such as piano's, guitar's and drums, while today's
       music is all electronic machines such as drum machines.  As a
       whole, music from the fifties is very different from the music we
       listen to today.
       (107 words)

       topic sentence                            \5

       content (arrangement, quality)            \10

       spelling, grammar, transitional words     \5

                         Example #2-- Contrast

            Although downhill skiing and figure skating are both winter
       sports, they are totally different.  First, of all, for downhill
       skiing you have skis, plastic boots and poles.  For figure skating,
       you have leather boots and steel blades.  The length of downhill
       skis is usually from the ground to your wrist extended above your
       head, but skate blades aren't too much longer than your foot.
       Skiing is performed on snow while skating is performed on ice.  Ski
       boots buckle up but skates lace up.  Skis are made in a variety of
       colours, however figure skates are made only in three
       colours--white and beige for girls and black for boys.  Finally, in
       downhill skiing, you mainly make left and right turns down a hill.
       In figure skating you do figure eights, dance steps, jumps and
       spins.  All in all, downhill skiing and figure skating are two very
       different winter sports.
       (148 words)
                        
       topic sentence                            \5

       content (arrangement, quality)            \10

       spelling, grammar, transitional words     \5

                                                             ...2


       PARAGRAPH SAMPLES                                P.2

                Example #3 --Contrast

            The differences between night and day are very much like the
       differences between black and white.  Because night is dark it
       becomes very mysterious, it is when the "unknown" linger about and
       therefore night is related to evil.  Day on the other hand tends to
       give people a more positive outlook.  Day means light , which gives
       a feeling security to most.

       (61 words)

                        Example #4--A Comparison

          A perfect friend is someone who resembles all of my friends, who
       without I'd live a boring and sheltered life.  This perfect friend
       would be trustworthy and keep an important piece of information
       confidential, honesty would prevail and have a terrific personality
       which would keep me smiling for all days to come.  Also this friend
       would be kind and warm to all new students, would be fun to be with
       and respect people and their property.  My friends are trustworthy
       and keep important pieces of information confidential, honesty
       prevails and they all have terrific personalities which keep me
       smiling always.  Also they are all kind and warm to all new
       students, are fun to be with and respect people and their
       property.  A perfect friend matches exactly with my friends but
       mine are a bit better, they're real.
       (138 words)


                              Example #5-- A Comparison

           Dogs and cats are (usually) very different from one another,
       with the exception of my cat Dorian and dog, Bailey.  Dorian loves
       table scraps, likes to play with a ball and comes when he's called.
       He also likes to go for long walks with me.  Afterwards he curls up
       either on my bed or in the sunshine and sleeps for a few hours.
       Bailey, the dog, loves table scraps, likes to play with a ball and
       comes when he's called.  He also likes to go for long walks with
       me.  Afterwards, he curls up either on my bed or in the sunshine
       and sleeps a few hours.  It's funny that Dorian and Bailey hate
       each other.
       (116 words)